Costume Capers
by Alstroe
Summary: and Halloween hijinks: Al and Ed are fighting. Can Riza do anything to help? And Breda and Havoc are up to no good, as usual. Very fluffy for the holiday.


This is something I whipped out last night for the holiday! Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Hey, Colonel."<p>

"What, Havoc?" Mustang had just entered the office and was hanging his coat on the rack when Havoc started his daily onslaught of comments and questions.

"Well, Halloween's tomorrow."

"Yes. Your point is…?"

"We should all dress up!"

Visions of the women in the office clad in revealing costumes flashed through Breda's mind. "Yeah, sir!" he added. "We should get the whole office to dress up!"

Mustang's face was expressionless. "No," he said.

"But why, sir?" Fuery piped up. "It would be fun."

"Yes, sir," said Falman. "There isn't a logical reason why we couldn't dress up."

"It's against dress code, for one," Mustang said. "And we do serious work done here, men. We don't have time for Halloween costumes."

A snort came from the direction of Hawkeye's desk; Mustang chose to ignore it but his men snickered.

Havoc elbowed Breda and mock whispered. "Sounds like someone's a little insecure…"

"I am not!" Mustang's face was red.

"Bad memories? No costume? Come on, sir, it's just for fun."

"The Furher would have to approve it…"

Falman chimed in. "It wouldn't be that hard to get approved, sir. It's only for one day, and the Furher is a good man with a sense of humor."

Seeing Mustang was losing the battle, Hawkeye took over. "No. We will not waste time on such trivial matters, and we will certainly not waste the Furher's time on such frivolities. Especially since I believe that Second Lieutenant Breda and Second Lieutenant Havoc's motives revolve around female officers in skimpy costumes." Hawkeye sniffed.

Mustang gave her an appreciative look. "Exactly. Now, I am going to start my work, and so are you."

"Fine," everyone grumbled.

Later that day, however, Havoc and Breda had recovered their pep.

"I wonder why the Colonel was so against Halloween costumes." Havoc whispered across the desks.

"Yeah, and why did he _blush?_ The Colonel doesn't _blush,_" Breda said.

Havoc rubbed his hands together. "Time to find out."

* * *

><p>About an hour later, Mustang and Hawkeye were working quietly in the office while everyone else was at lunch. They heard an argument outside their door.<p>

"Why won't you dress up, Al? You'd look great! ...Well, who cares? Winry's gonna want pictures! I'm going as a vampire! …Al?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" Al yelled as he burst through the door to the office. Mustang quirked a brow.

"Hello, Fullmetal. Alphonse," he said, nodding to Al.

But he got no response. Al was the angriest Hawkeye or Mustang had ever seen him. There was a tense silence for a minute, then Mustang's curiosity got the better of him.

"What is the problem?"

"Al won't dress up for Halloween this year."

"That again?" Mustang asked. "I agree, Alphonse. It's a silly and useless practice."

"This is the first Halloween I haven't had a real body," Al said quietly.

A stone dropped into Mustang's stomach and Al turned and fled the room, sounding very much like he would cry if he was able. Hawkeye stood up crisply and glared at Mustang as she passed the two alchemists frozen into place.

Right after she left, Ed snapped out of his stupor. "Al!" he yelled.

But Roy grabbed his arm. "The Lieutenant can handle this. Why don't you give me your report?"

Ed started screeching at him about useless missions and terrible superiors. Roy smiled- at least he was distracted from worrying about Al.

* * *

><p>Havoc and Breda didn't eat their lunches that day. It was a huge sacrifice for the pair, but a necessary one. They were going to find out why the Colonel was so embarrassed at the thought of dressing up for Halloween. First stop: Rebecca Catalina.<p>

"No, I don't know anything about Mustang's costume preferences," she said as she took a huge bite of her sub. Breda tried not to salivate.

"We thought you might know-"

"-because of Riza. Yeah, right," she said around the food in her mouth. She swallowed. "But if she does know, she hasn't told me. I do know something, though," Rebecca whispered, leaning across the table. "I followed her and Mustang to this sketchy joint once- wait, why are you looking at me like that? I just wanted to see if they were on a date-well, the details aren't important. But anyway, Mustang's foster mother runs the place. It's downtown. Tell her you're good friends with Elizabeth; that should do the trick." Rebecca's eyes glinted.

Havoc and Breda said their goodbyes, a bit dazed. Havoc was the first to speak.

"I think I'm in love with that woman."

"Not today, buddy. Today, we get blackmail."

* * *

><p>Riza walked down the hallway at a clip, trying to find Al. Now how hard could it be to find a suit of armor? she thought. Soon enough, she spotted a figure sitting in a dark office. She pushed open the door. Alphonse's shoulders were hunched.<p>

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, I'd rather not talk to anyone right now."

Riza bit her lip.

"Well, Alphonse," she began. "I'm a bit self-conscious about wearing a costume too. What if I was able to convince the entire office to wear costumes tomorrow? Would you wear a costume then?"

Al turned his head and his eyes glowed. "Really, Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

She nodded.

"And you would wear a costume too?" he asked, wary.

Riza gave Al a little smile. "Well, Halloween does only come once a year…"

"Then I'd better go find Brother- I need to find a costume!" The suit of armor beamed. "Thanks, Lieutenant!"

Riza smiled again and gave him a little wave as she watched him run down the hall.

* * *

><p>Havoc and Breda showed up again twenty minutes after their lunch breaks were over. Mustang glared at them but said nothing. Their expressions were angelic. That, Mustang thought, was a very bad sign.<p>

Hawkeye walked back into the office.

"We're all dressing up for Halloween tomorrow," she said. Everyone looked shocked.

"What?" Roy sputtered.

"I already put it through to the Furher- today is a slow day for him, being near a holiday, and he approved it immediately. He said that Selim would love to dress up, sir. In fact," she said, "the entire building will be participating."

Fuery and Falman smiled. Havoc and Breda rubbed their hands together in anticipation. Mustang looked betrayed and confused.

Hawkeye sat back down at her desk. "Shall we get back to work?"

* * *

><p>The next day, Roy got to the office early. He snuck into the building without anyone seeing him and nervously smoothed back his hair. This had better be good enough.<p>

The first to arrive was Riza. She didn't laugh but her eyes sparkled as she took in Roy's costume.

"What?"

"Sir, eye patches don't suit you."

Roy sighed and was about to pitch his pirate hat across the room when Fuery walked in, dressed as a skeleton.

"Oh, sir, I like your costume! And who are you, Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"I'm Minerva the Wise, of Xerxes," she said, pulling at her white robes.

Fuery nodded enthusiastically, though he had no idea who that was.

Havoc, Breda, and Falman arrived to save him, however. Falman was a ghost, Havoc a devil, and Breda a werewolf.

Roy waved his hands. "So now we can get on with things, yes?" He turned to walk to his desk.

"I like your costume, sir, but why did you chose to be a pirate?"

Roy froze. "What do you mean, Havoc?"

"I don't know, I just thought you might look good as something else. Like a penguin, or a famous alchemist, or maybe… a princess?" he asked, smiling fiendishly. In his hand he held up a picture of a small boy who was grinning through a pink dress and long black wig. Roy growled and jumped at Havoc, snatching the photo from his hands and tearing it up. Breda was choking from laughing so hard, Hawkeye was having trouble repressing her chuckles, and both Fuery and Falman were snickering.

"_Where. Did. You. Get. That."_

"We have our sources. Oh, and I have copies." Havoc grinned.

Roy was about to throttle Havoc when Ed and Al entered. Ed was a vampire, cape and all. But it was Al who stood out. He was beaming, wearing cat ears and a tail. Someone had even painted whiskers onto his face in washable paint. The officers stared at the boys, so happy just to be dressed up for the holiday. They forgot too often that Al and Ed were only fourteen and fifteen.

"Do you like my costume?" Al asked the group.

Riza swallowed the lump in her throat and answered for all of them. "I love it, Alphonse."

* * *

><p>A few weeks later, Winry got a letter from Ed and Al in the mail. She tore it open right next to the mailbox.<p>

_Winry, _it read.

_ I hope you had a good Halloween, I guess. I was a vampire and Al was a cat. What were you? _

_ Y'know, the military's annoying and all, but the soldiers aren't that bad. Lieutenant Hawkeye was the one who convinced Al to dress up. Though my bastard superior was acting twitchy all day, especially when anyone mentioned anything about royalty. Weird. Anyway, we're alive, we'll come visit soon, blah blah._

_ -Ed_

_ Winry, this is Al. I hope you had a great Halloween. I did! Gotta go, but I promise we'll come visit soon. Love you and Granny!_

_ -Al_

A photo of the brothers mugging for the camera fell out of the envelope. Winry closed the letter and smiled. "Granny, we've got mail!"


End file.
